I'm back and trouble is afoot! Like buses, men come and go. Number one rule learnt and burnt into my minds eye..don't get hurt. So I have a date coming up with Mr Muscles...I have decided to try an older man , so Slick Nic you get your way! (Have to admit he is right saucy fella judging from our last phone call..so maybe this old dog gonna teach me something)
Oh Mr Notsonaughty, initiated sex last night... funny how relationship sex is always the same. Like a tried and tested recipe... This is Mr Notsonaughty recipe...touch boobs , kiss neck, prod Miss Naughty in the back with erection in the back...mutter something about love in Miss Naughty ear, reach over and touch boobs again... LOL. Hey just like a comfy pair of heels its reliable no ones world gets rocked, but we know I got other ways to get my rocks off!
I couldn't resist adding in this link, this is my current theme tune to my life at the moment... so watch this space for details...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U4ecNuaUvE
my lost funk
After yesterdays internet trauma, I cant shake it off I have lost my funk. I have ignored my own advice and now I am feeling like rubbish. I have decided on my day off work to spend it in my PJs on the sofa considering my options, while eating a tray of fresh brownies( I may just eat it straight from the tin with a spoon)
That tiny part of me is sitting here hoping for an email or text that could turn my mood around, but I think I am fooling myself.
Slick Nic keeps texting me and Mr Muscles sent me a lovely email. But alas no smiles here.
That tiny part of me is sitting here hoping for an email or text that could turn my mood around, but I think I am fooling myself.
Slick Nic keeps texting me and Mr Muscles sent me a lovely email. But alas no smiles here.
Miss Naughty does have feelings...(darn it)
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| Clearly this isn't Adam but you get the idea |
Ugh I was perusing MA (the current dating website of choice) and which one of my favourites shows up as online too.. Adam. Eeeck the last I heard (yes i did read the email) was that his PC was broken and he couldn't get on line ..blah blah. I suppose despite committing Internet suicide and disappearing I was in some strange way upset that he hadn't tracked me down. Not that he would have been able to in all honesty.
I don't know what I want, but I did/do like Adam and I think a fuck buddy arrangement could work out really well. So I now I am flicking between websites to see if he contacts me. I could contact him first couldn't I? Scrap that foolish thought...
Oh and top it all off Mr C recent diary entry says " I am taking myself off the market as I have met someone from the site".. Oh christ my heart/lust is breaking. (So much for my rules ...I have got hurt)
All this and a hangover not the best combo on a Sunday morning. It may be time to open up the chocolate biscuits and sink under the duvet. Could my day get any worst?
Get me out of here ...
Mr Notsonaughty "So what did you today"
Me " I had an appointment at the beauty salon, got a hollywood wax I am really pleased with it."
Mr Notsonaughty "oh" *shrugs shoulders*
Me "wanna see"
Mr Notsonaughty " na your alright . Seems a silly idea to me"
Me " I read it increases sensitivity, I think its sexy in fact I feel really turned on by it"
Mr Notsonaughty "well I still don't see the point... sorry whats for dinner?"
Please someone tell me this is not a normal reaction !
These things I know..... so far
This is a list (how I love a list) of the things I know..so far. Willing to be proved wrong on all of them.
1. The immediate rush of chatting to someone new is amazing. Building a picture of each other, the first time you decide to switch on the web cams. Its the buzz, that stomach churning OMG moment, when they email or text you or send you a pic. This can sometimes be really intense contact over a number of consecutive days.
2. Don’t lose hope .. like everything this rush dies, pretty quickly usually within 3 days. I would suggest that as an average, because people have lives and they are not permanently attached to their laptops. So there may be contact but it will be considerably less than the initial flurry of emails or chat exchanges.
3. For every 10 people you connect with. In reality you will probably only met 3 and out of that …well I am still learning.. but you got to have fun along the way.
4. Distance. It matters the die- hard optimist in me wants to say it doesn’t but it does. But I am willing to be proved wrong.
5. Decide in advance what it is that you want . Are you looking for a relationship then if so, exchanging sexy pics at the beginning might not be the way to go. If it’s a hook up (as I would call it ) or a Meet as its commonly called on the websites then sending those pics will get you that. As long as you stay “game” and the dreaded cold feet don’t get ya.
6. Don’t Get hurt. Most people on line have told you a million lies to get you where they want you. If you send you pics or video you have to assume that they may just end up being used as homemade porn. I suppose there is some sense of flattery you can take from that the idea that someone wants to cum all over a picture of you.
7. Beware of the Young Ones and the Much Older Ones. OK this is blatant ageism I can see that…but a word to the wise .. it matters. The young ones want to practice their “fucking abilty” and having already gone through he “Practice” stage you may agree with me that teaching some kid old tricks is no fun. While on the reverse teaching an old dog new tricks .. comes with baggage. You like me may have your own set of baggage and not really have room to carry much more.
8. Lies I think honesty is the best policy You may disagree.. ok so a bit of fluffy stuff you know.. your not going to send all the photos where you look like a pig. But on the flip side don’t lie about the big stuff. There is no point. Unless you’re a C**t and you want to just hurt people.
9.Don't get talked into meeting someone. Don't let yourself get sucked in by feeling guilty or obliged. Your not. If you don't feel comfortable don't go. If you got alot to lose, why risk the chance of getting sprung over someone your not that into.
10.Accept. That it may turn out the way you want.
Tasty Thursday Treats
Each Thursday I am going to post an update on my current adventures and to "Big up" some of my new found friends...
So lets see… Mr Cautions the northerner He is a sweet guy that is stuck in a relationship (mortgage/girl) and it sounds like its just too much for him. Every now and then he pops up on my Messenger for a chat. This week he seems to want chat a lot! Unfortunately for him I have been caught up with Mr C.
Mr Muscles.. I am not sure he knows what he wants, one point he emails that we should met to see if we get on and the next he goes quiet. I am going to leave this in his court to make a decision on exactly what he is looking for.
Dazza, Oh my heart bleeds for Dazza, He seems like a genuine nice guy who keeps getting treated badly by us ladies (hang our heads in shame). Although this compassion was short lived further to his persistent emails to met him at a specified location (like the woods) so I could watch him pee. While I have politely told him its not my thing, he continues to drop hints. What do you think should I go watch?
Slick Nic,. He is older than me… and he has 3 kids and it seems like affairs are his thing and not getting caught! There is a strange appeal with him so I have agreed to met him for a coffee just to see what he is like in person. I expect I will use this more as a research project! I think he is batting slightly out of his league..(bitch I know)
Mr C, Oh Mr C… how I enjoyed our exchange this week! There could have been a competition to see who could be more daring He gets me and it would without doubt be explosive if we met… now if I can just overcome 200 + miles.
Oh and Adam (remember him) well he dropped me an email last week. I still haven’t had the courage to open it. Should I just press delete!?
All advice gratefully appreciated...
So lets see… Mr Cautions the northerner He is a sweet guy that is stuck in a relationship (mortgage/girl) and it sounds like its just too much for him. Every now and then he pops up on my Messenger for a chat. This week he seems to want chat a lot! Unfortunately for him I have been caught up with Mr C.
Mr Muscles.. I am not sure he knows what he wants, one point he emails that we should met to see if we get on and the next he goes quiet. I am going to leave this in his court to make a decision on exactly what he is looking for.
Dazza, Oh my heart bleeds for Dazza, He seems like a genuine nice guy who keeps getting treated badly by us ladies (hang our heads in shame). Although this compassion was short lived further to his persistent emails to met him at a specified location (like the woods) so I could watch him pee. While I have politely told him its not my thing, he continues to drop hints. What do you think should I go watch?
Slick Nic,. He is older than me… and he has 3 kids and it seems like affairs are his thing and not getting caught! There is a strange appeal with him so I have agreed to met him for a coffee just to see what he is like in person. I expect I will use this more as a research project! I think he is batting slightly out of his league..(bitch I know)
Mr C, Oh Mr C… how I enjoyed our exchange this week! There could have been a competition to see who could be more daring He gets me and it would without doubt be explosive if we met… now if I can just overcome 200 + miles.
Oh and Adam (remember him) well he dropped me an email last week. I still haven’t had the courage to open it. Should I just press delete!?
All advice gratefully appreciated...
Theft of Apocalyptica and all that Jizz
Every now and then you end up chatting to someone on line, who gets you. Who really gets you lets be honest to get my warped sense of humour and to follow my wandering trail of thought is definitely award winning.
Well that's what I think so far of this fella. Its probably the only time with my on and off dalliance with the Internet that I have thought "shit if only circumstances were different". I would just throw my stuff in the car and go met him, and stick two fingers up at everything, however Age has brought about responsibility and a sense of obligation... which puts impulses on hold.
I think we will call him Mr C, if he ever gets to see this blog ( if I tell him about it) he will know its him..the title is your credit OK. So i do hope Mr C can feature in other blogs...
Well that's what I think so far of this fella. Its probably the only time with my on and off dalliance with the Internet that I have thought "shit if only circumstances were different". I would just throw my stuff in the car and go met him, and stick two fingers up at everything, however Age has brought about responsibility and a sense of obligation... which puts impulses on hold.
I think we will call him Mr C, if he ever gets to see this blog ( if I tell him about it) he will know its him..the title is your credit OK. So i do hope Mr C can feature in other blogs...
Beautiful Flowers and a Beautiful Cock
Why are tattoos and sex so closely tied together …perhaps that’s just me. Every time I have ever gone under the needle that rush afterwards has ended up in the most passionate (read filthy) encounters.. maybe it’s the heady mix of adrenaline and pain…perhaps someone can commission a study…. All I know is that getting mine has never been so much fun, be that solo fun or with someone. A labour of love that I am not intending to speed up. So today I sit back and say thank you tattoo needle and thank you random dating sites and dodgy dates with dodgy tattooist (even jimmy today .. yes you will do a love heart and yes you will like it)… as without you .. I would be just a prim and proper wife and that hat never did suit.
So the beautiful flowers that adorn my arm and to the ones that are coming... I say bring it on oh and to the beautiful cocks I see on my travels I salute you !
So the beautiful flowers that adorn my arm and to the ones that are coming... I say bring it on oh and to the beautiful cocks I see on my travels I salute you !
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- 'I do it because it looks cool, full stop' (guardian.co.uk)
Brazil or Hollywood ..

This is now a major life altering decision for many women... who would have thought that sex and the city could have changed the world of female pubic hair .. Anyway I think stick to what you know the glam of hollywood. Although I am going to have to change beauty salons, further to moving. So I will let you know how it goes.... more to follow...
Well well what have we here then...

So in reality what do you do...your chatting to some awesome guy but they hundreds or miles away or worst they are a stones throw away... you think you wanna met them, but how does that work in reality? you have made it clear that its no strings attached and its just a hook up...
so I figured I should try and this is how it panned out,
lets call him Adam, (not real name) I met Adam on the aforementioned site and in part he was the reason I removed myself and the reason I reactivated my profile. Adam is married and a serving police officer. His emails were cute, they were actually readable and unlike the wades of nonsense where not all about what he was going to do with his 10 inches... he was interested in me, what I liked what we had in common. I automatically felt safe , really safe. I got to be honest I think the police officer bit got me (does every time)
He was nervous and I was nervous but we agreed to met in a country pub right out in the middle of nowhere. I got there early and the emergency pack of silkcuts which have lived at the bottom of my bag for a year were broken out. As I waited I sat wondering what happens from here what happens if we do really like each other. Exactly how does an affair work?. I think that's a female thing, jumping 5 steps ahead planning for a future when the present hasn't even started.
I recognised him from his photos swapped online, and as he walked towards me .. I suddenly felt the rush of excitement I had longed for ... that first meeting rush. We chatted and the 2 hours flew by, he had to leave promptly so he could make it home before his wife got home from work. While we chatted he leaned over towards me and I could see his wedding ring (I had taken mine off in the car some where in my head as long as I am not wearing it then i am not cheating). I could smell him and I wanted him in that moment, right there. But he lent back and continued his conversation.
Its those moments I could spend a lifetime chasing. The moments before you kiss someone, the moment you know that person is going to touch you but their hand lingers above your skin. You can almost feel them and every part of you feels like its stretching out to brush against them.
Adam wasn't as up for it as his profile made out, perhaps it was nerves or a case of cold feet but it wasn't until we got up to leave that i thought "sod it if you come to the party you come to dance" ..so I Lent in and kissed him. He kissed me back so passionately that I instantly assumed it had been nerves before. He slid his arms around me and ran his hands over my body ( no doubt checking me for drugs..lol I joke).
We parted and that's where things were left, It wasn't like how meets had been before where its just drop your knickers and get down to it. It was different and that set something of in me. A feeling of guilt. That sinking feeling that what you have done is so very wrong and to spark a connection when your both attached ..well where is it going to go? So I did what all crazy neurotic women do and commit ed Internet suicide, removed myself form everywhere..blocked Adam from trying to find me on every social network site I could think of and disappeared. Because that's what you do ..when you like someone isn't it?
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