The other day... I was cuddled up with Mr Darkside..yes the one and only Mr Darkside...after Me and Mr Notsonaughty fell apart... I fell into the arms of Mr Darkside and to say I am Happy is no under estimate on my current feelings... No Mr Darkside has never read this blog... do I want him too? Well I am not sure..its nice just to tell cyber space my odd ramblings.
Anyway back on track as I mentioned.. then elabrated I was cuddled up with Mr Darkside ..and I was wondering why he got that blog name as it doesnt really describe him but some where in the midist of all the crazy it suited him and I look back with affection on that name.
So where did I leave off.. well yep me and Mr Notsonaughty parted ways...I suppose it should have happened 18 months before it did , but I am rubbish at owning up to how i think and feel about things I suppose the blog helped in some way .. as a way to get feelings out there and work through them.
Although I am not sure what cheating on someone means about you?
I suppose for me it meant I was unhappy dreadfully Unhappy and that my only escape ended up being in the illcit activity .... and to be fair (if there is a being fair) I woke up to myself in time .. just in time.
So in the middle of all the chaos that fell around me.. after a month or so long silence from Mr Darkside I made contact ..yep I intiated it and I suppose as my situiaon was a lot more clearer things flowed a lot quicker... like a mini whirlwind! :) (big grins) ....
so the world sounds peachy! ... but you know there is a BIG arse BUTT coming......
So lets start in the middle......
I walked ...well in reality I ran...ran screaming to the hills i knew it wasn't right.. marriage ..well marriage to Mr Notsonaughty .. I mean lets face it i didn't love him I was treating him like shit and getting caught and continuing to treat him like shit. Not that i am going to get in to Shit throwing but he threw some may way too! Anyway I ended it .. i suppose around the same time i stopped posting on my blog...
2 reasons for not posting 1. I needed some head space to work out what i wanted to tell the world and what I should tell the world and 2. Well Mr Darkside... ( a subject for another blog post).
So I ran, leaving lots of unrecoverable deposits, bewildered parents and a heartbroken Mr Notsonaughty...
the other night someone said i had been brave...brae to admit it wasn't right and to take that step away from it all despite the feelings of embarrassment/shame humiliation. But at the time I didn't feel brave .. in fact I felt good 100% positive with the decision i had made. Which made it so much harder on Mr Notsonaugty, but Mr Notsonaughty turnout to be a Mr Psycho very quickly so any sympathetic pains you may have had for him should now fade! (a subject for another time perhaps)
What a mess er... mmmmm
i am back in the room ...just
ok ok i am back... ok its been a ridicoulous long time but i will explain all,,, but for the moment i just wanted to say hi!
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