Well well what have we here then...

So in reality what do you do...your chatting to some awesome guy but they hundreds or miles away or worst they are a stones throw away... you think you wanna met them, but how does that work in reality? you have made it clear that its no strings attached and its just a hook up...

so I figured I should try and this is how it panned out,
lets call him Adam, (not real name) I met Adam on the aforementioned site and in part he was the reason I removed myself and the reason I reactivated my profile. Adam is married and a serving police officer. His emails were cute, they were actually readable and unlike the wades of nonsense where not all about what he was going to do with his 10 inches... he was interested in me, what I liked what we had in common. I automatically felt safe , really safe. I got to be honest I think the police officer bit got me (does every time)

He was nervous and I was nervous but we agreed to met in a country pub right out in the middle of nowhere. I got there early and the emergency pack of silkcuts which have lived at the bottom of my bag for a year were broken out. As I waited I sat wondering what happens from here what happens if we do really like each other. Exactly how does an affair work?. I think that's a female thing, jumping 5 steps ahead planning for a future when the present hasn't even started.

I recognised him from his photos swapped online, and as he walked towards me .. I suddenly felt the rush of excitement I had longed for ... that first meeting rush. We chatted and the 2 hours flew by, he had to leave promptly so he could make it home before his wife got home from work. While we chatted he leaned over towards me and I could see his wedding ring (I had taken mine off in the car some where in my head as long as I am not wearing it then i am not cheating). I could smell him and I wanted him in that moment, right there. But he lent back and continued his conversation.

Its those moments I could spend a lifetime chasing. The moments before you kiss someone, the moment you know that person is going to touch you but their hand lingers above your skin. You can almost feel them and every part of you feels like its stretching out to brush against them.
Adam wasn't as up for it as his profile made out, perhaps it was nerves or a case of cold feet but it wasn't until we got up to leave that i thought "sod it if you come to the party you come to dance" ..so I Lent in and kissed him. He kissed me back so passionately that I instantly assumed it had been nerves before. He slid his arms around me and ran his hands over my body ( no doubt checking me for drugs..lol I joke).

We parted and that's where things were left, It wasn't like how meets had been before where its just drop your knickers and get down to it. It was different and that set something of in me. A feeling of guilt. That sinking feeling that what you have done is so very wrong and to spark a connection when your both attached ..well where is it going to go? So I did what all crazy neurotic women do and commit ed Internet suicide, removed myself form everywhere..blocked Adam from trying to find me on every social network site I could think of and disappeared. Because that's what you do ..when you like someone isn't it?